The Accountability Buddy on The Cutting Room Floor

Sometimes, poor cell phone reception can lead to random idea. Below is an idea that I had to get out of my head and into text form. ‘The Accountability Buddy’ still made an appearance in January’s installment of ‘Your L8 Show: LIVE’, but not in the form of this blatant homage to a certain famous television bit from the 1950’s:

L:  Tonight you are here for a very special edition of ‘Your L8 Show: LIVE’! We are preparing exciting new features for the new year and you are all privy to a sneak peek!

We are also proud to introduce a new sponsor to ‘Your L8 Show’ just in time for the new year. And here to introduce that exciting product is the newest member of the [By The Mummers] ensemble, C!

(C enters, holding a bottle with a shot glass resting on it)

C: Hello Friends, I’m your accountability buddy! Are you tired from that New Year’s Eve soiree? Did you fail to get a kiss at midnight? Share the moment with the one you love? Did you impale yourself on a chain link fence because you were running drunken wind sprints in your apartment building courtyard at 3am?

Is it another January and you find yourself alone?

The answer to all the problems you continue to refuse to take accountability for is in this little bottle.

L: (sotto voce) Hold open the bottle.

C: What – oh…. The answer to all of your problems is in this little bottle. It’s the Accountability Buddy. The Accountability Buddy is vegan, gluten free, soy free, antibiotics free, raw, non GMO, organic, low carb, and fat free!

With The Accountability Buddy you can swallow your pride – I mean problems – you can swallow your problems away!

All you have to do is take one tablespoon when you find your back against the wall. Or when the dark cloud has permeated your body, or you haven’t gotten out of your pajamas for three days because the sun hasn’t shined.

L: (sotto voce) Open the bottle.

C: What – right…  (takes the shot glass off the bottle  and opens the bottle) The Accountability Buddy is so tasty too!(pours and takes a shot) It hits the spot!

(it rocks him hard)

 Tastes just like Monday!

L: No, C, you have to be happy! Your Accountability Buddy takes your troubles away! Try again…

C: ok… It hits the spot! (pours and shoots, stronger reaction)…

(This repeats with stronger reactions from C… And escalates. Is there someone he can kiss in the audience?)

L: C!

(C returns to the stage)

C: So, why don’t you follow the millions who won’t take accountability for their actions and get yourself The Accountability Buddy today! (chugs bottle)

L: That will be all, C. Thank you.


By The Improviser's Guide

The Improviser's Guide Network was created by Frank Cardillo, a Queens, NY based Creator & Producer. Frank has appeared throughout New York City performing improvisation and standup comedy, including performances at Super Bowl XLVIII, Turning Stone Casino, Gotham Comedy Club, Universal Studios, Walt Disney World, and for 15 years off the shores of Lake Ontario at the Sterling Renaissance Festival as their emcee, Lenny Burrows. Most recently, Frank was part of the cast for the New York City premiere of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival hit, Overheard at Joe's (formerly Joe's NYC Bar). Since 2009, Frank has been the Founder and Producing Director of the 'Raft of Comic Knockouts' known as [By The Mummers]. Known for their 'unpredictable, coming out-of-nowhere humor' (Backstage), their musical 'BLOOD' was a Next Link Selection of the New York Musical Theatre Festival and was named 'Best of the Fest' by Davenport Theatricals. [By The Mummers] are the reigning, defending Champions of the Down Under Improv Festival. Besides serving as a member of the writing team for several original [By The Mummers] events, Frank has had public stagings of two original modern Commedia dell'Arte performances and has devised several structured scenarios for productions in New York City and across the state. In September 2015, [By The Mummers] held a public staged reading of Frank's historical, satirical, farce, 'The Double Play' at Foley's, Home to the Irish American Baseball Hall of Fame. In June 2016, Frank debuted 'The Improviser's Guide to Being a Better Birth Partner' onstage Off Off Broadway. He has performed this one man piece in New York City on multiple occasions with a book in the works. Following years as an adjunct faculty member at Stony Brook University, Frank has applied his improvisation experience in training employees at Macy's Herald Square, Carnegie Hall, & the Sterling Renaissance Festival. Frank has been the recipient of the Impresario Award for supporting New Play Development, as well as a Rollie Award winner for his service to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. In 2008, he received the Spirit of Christmas Award.

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